


You Are Not Alone

by poldarked_fangirl



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 05:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6411304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poldarked_fangirl/pseuds/poldarked_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shot I wrote on a whim one night after watching S03E03: Gridlock.  At the end of this episode, we see the Doctor telling Martha of his home planet, and then we pan away.  What if we'd stayed and heard everything he had to say?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Not Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, my dear friend Emily, for beta-reading for me!! <3 Allons-y!!

                      

He sighed, tears in his eyes, and picked up the chair to place it in front of Martha. He sat down and leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. He began, “There was a war.”

Martha nodded in understanding, gesturing for him to continue.  The Doctor locked eyes with her. 

“A Time War… the last great Time War,” he sighed again.  My people fought a race called the Daleks.”

Martha nodded again, furrowing her brow.

“For the sake of all creation, and they lost,” he explained.  “We lost.  Everyone lost.  They’re all gone now… my family… my friends…” tears stung in his eyes, but he continued.  “Even the sky.  Oh, you should’ve seen it, that old planet!” a sad, reminiscent smile beamed across his angular face.  The Doctor’s eyes lingered toward the sky, a sense of longing and emotion evident in his pause.  “The Second Sun would rise in the South and the mountains would shine.”  His lips and chin quivered.  His voice was throaty and heavy as he tried not to break. 

Tears began to form in Martha’s own eyes at this outpouring of emotion from the man who until now had never “talked to her properly.” 

“The leaves on the trees were silver, and when they caught the light every morning, it looked like a forest on fire.  When the autumn came, the breeze would blow through the branches like a song,” his voice cracked.  “Oh Martha, it was beautiful.”  He hung his head as the tears finally fell. 

Taking a breath, Martha chewed her lip.  “You’ve never told anyone that, have you?”

He just shook his head; his eyes shut tight.  Reaching out, she placed a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.  He sighed again and gave a small laugh.  “I’m sorry,” he apologized and jumped out of his chair

“Doctor?”

“Now, where were we?  Back to the T.A.R.D.I.S.!” he tried to change the subject.  “Where do you wanna go?  Forwards?  Backwards?  Up?  Down?  Ooh, how about Spain?  Maybe Spain?  15th Century?  The Wedding of Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand is one helluva party!  Or maybe you fancy Ancient Times?  What about-”

She hugged him.  The Doctor stood there with his mouth agape as Martha Jones’ arms wrapped around his shoulders.  Slowly, he moved his arms to return the gesture.  Catching himself, he shoved her off.  “No!” he yelled, holding his hands up as if protecting himself.  “Don’t do that!” he shouted. 

“What?!  What have I done?” she jolted.

He held her at arm’s length.  He looked… _no… could it be?Yes_ … the Doctor was… afraid.

“You can’t…” he gasped.  “You can’t do that!”

“Do what?!”

“Touch me!  Get close to me!  You can’t… they all… always… she’s gone.”  He fell to the ground, on his hands and knees, crying. 

“Who?” kneeling in front of him, Martha was confused.  “Who’s gone?  What happened, Doctor?”

“Rose… Rose Tyler…” he sobbed.  “I lost her.”  He buried his face in his hands.  “I’ve lost everyone.  I’m the last one.”

Martha’s heart broke at the sight before her.  The Doctor; Last of the Time Lords; a broken man.  Behind all his knowledge and adventure, he was just a broken man. 

Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him again.  He tried to push her away.

“Shh,” she comforted.  He broke.  He gave in to his emotions.  His grief.  He gave in to the much-needed comfort he craved.  Martha offered it and he allowed himself, this once, to indulge.

She held him close, protecting him.  He clung to her, his hands bunched fistfuls of her red leather jacket; his body wracked with broken sobs.   
  
“Shh, it’s alright.  It’s alright, Doctor,” she comforted. 

“I couldn’t…s-save… her,” he whimpered, his face buried in the curve of her neck. 

“It’s not your fault,” she stroked his hair and rubbed his back.  God, how he’d suffered.  She could only imagine how long he’d kept all this pain bottled up inside. 

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that, clinging to each other in the alleyway in the dark, surrounded by nothing but abandoned side shops, fog, and a cold breeze. 

Finally, the Doctor took a free breath.  “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. 

Pulling away from him, Martha looked him in the eyes.  His sorry, lonely, cold eyes.  “It’s alright.  You’re alright,” her hand gently stroked his cheek, wiping the tears from his face.  “It’s not your fault, Doctor.  You did everything you could.”

Looking up at her, he was confused. 

She understood what his face meant.  He hadn’t told her anything about the one he’d lost.  “I know you, Doctor.  You don’t give up.  You give people… hope.  You _are_ hope.  You did everything you could.” 

Smiling, he looked down at the ground, not knowing what to say. 

“Alright, enough of this!” he quickly got to his feet.  Holding his hand out, he helped Martha up, and escorted her back to the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Just before they walked in, he stopped.  “You were right.”

“When?”

“The Face of Boe said I was not alone.  You thought he meant you.  I don’t know if that’s what he meant, but it’s what I mean.”  Taking her hand in his, he smiled.  “I’ve got you, Martha Jones.  You’re not Rose… you’re not replacing her, no one will ever replace her.  But you’re special.  And I’m not alone.” 

Martha smiled.  Just as she was about to set foot inside the Police Box, he stopped her again. 

She looked at him, her eyes asking what was wrong. 

“Thank you,” he said.

“I knew it.  You need someone.  You need not to be alone.”

“Maybe,” he smiled again.  Still a sad, forlorn smile.  “Thank you, Martha Jones.”

“No, Doctor.  Thank _you_.”

They walked inside, closed the doors, and the Doctor set the T.A.R.D.I.S. off on another adventure.  And no matter what, he would never be alone. 


End file.
